Homily Seventh Sunday in ordinary time Cycle C Feb 20 2022
In the Gospel we just heard Jesus gives us some challenging, but
critical, teaching. Jesus begins with an
unusual formula: “To you who hear I say:” and then goes on with His teaching.
So first of all, to understand this Gospel we need to hear: that is, pay attention, turn off distractions,
listen deeply. And I am assuming that
you are those who hear.
Near the end of the Gospel passage
Jesus declares: “Forgive and you will be forgiven.” Not only is that difficult to do, I
believe that it is frequently mis-understood.
What is forgiveness all about, and how does forgiveness respect the
rights of justice? What is the
difference between revenge on the one hand, and the just demands of restitution
on the other?
Let us take a particularly difficult
case. Fr. Rocco Perrone, a Paulist who
was stationed at St. Austin for a number of years, has been credibly accused of
sexually abusing boys in two cities other than Austin. I do not know of any accusations in Austin.
This is a particularly awful and
horrendous crime, which causes deep emotional, psychological and spiritual damage. The pain and debilitating effects often go on
for many years after the offense.
How can we speak about forgiveness in
such a horrific situation, or in any case of child abuse, domestic abuse, rape,
murder, and so many other heinous crimes?
Is forgiveness even possible in such awful situations?
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It is essential to know what forgiveness is, and what it is not.
First let us talk about what forgiveness is not. It is NOT pretending that it was no big deal, that it was OK, that it did not matter, that it did not affect me, that I wasn’t hurt.
Forgiveness is first of all HONEST.
Forgiveness is NOT making excuses, nor downplaying the crime, nor
ignoring the wrongdoing. Forgiveness is
honest, and realistic, and includes the just demands of restitution where
possible, and punishment were appropriate.
To forgive someone is NOT to let them off the hook, nor to ignore the
consequences of bad actions. Forgiveness
is real and honest; even brutally honest.
What forgiveness is, is the
letting go of striking back, of getting even, of causing pain and grief to the
one who hurt me. Forgiveness interrupts
and breaks the cycle of vengeance and retaliation and violence. Forgiveness recognizes that I have been hurt
and wronged, that the other person is guilty of this, but that I will let go of
hatred and the desire for revenge. Forgiveness happens within me.
This explains why Jesus insists on
forgiveness. Because when we hold onto
hatred and desires of revenge and retribution in our hearts, we hurt
ourselves. When are hearts are full of
anger and desires to hurt our persecutors and make them suffer as we have
suffered, we in effect are blocking God’s love from coming into us. How can God’s love and peace abide in a
heart full of anger and desires to hurt and make suffer and get even? It can’t.
Forgiveness benefits first and foremost the person forgiving. Forgiveness relieves the offended party of
the terrible burden of revenge, which is a spiritual and psychological
poison. Forgiveness allows life and
growth to go on, and not remain stuck in the past.
This is why Jesus tells us “Stop judging and you will not be
judged. Stop condemning and you will not
be condemned. Forgive and you will be
forgiven.”
This is not transactional, not a tit for tat. It is NOT: “If you won’t forgive then God
won’t forgive you.” As if God was some
petulant score-keeper.
Rather, the reality is that God cannot
forgive us if we are holding onto desires to hurt back, to seek revenge, to
make other people suffer, to get even.
God’s love and our hate cannot exist in the same heart. We have to let go of the desires to seek
revenge, to get even; in short to forgive, in order to open ourselves to
receive the forgiveness and healing of God.
And as I stated before, the legitimate
claims of justice, of restitution and accountability still require
satisfaction. But that is a different
reality than revenge. Revenge seeks to
hurt and destroy, Justice seeks to heal and bring reform and life. They are two very different things.
Forgiveness is difficult, especially
for those who have been wounded deeply in their souls and personalities. Forgiveness takes prayer, and patience, and
work. But it is an essential step toward
healing. It is the way to life.
