Happy Mother’s Day! Beyond the flowers, candy, cards and presents
it is important to tell your mother “thank you.” This extends not only to your
birth mother, but to all those who have nurtured and sustained you, whether
they be aunts or grandmothers or teachers or whoever. Happy Mother’s Day to all
who nurture, educate and help us to grow. Mothers who balance both a career
and child-rearing are taking on quite a lot; often more than two full time
jobs! It is amazing that so many do so well in fulfilling both roles. We all owe
Mothers a debt of gratitude. Happy Mother’s Day!
Mothers (and Fathers) have always
had a difficult task, but today the demands and expectations for what a parent
should be are so high, and so all-encompassing, as to seem almost impossible to
fulfill. Since they are human, no mother is perfect. Every mother has,
somewhere along the line, in spite of all the love that is in her heart, been
too tired, too distracted, too confused, too ill-equipped, too inexperienced,
too uneducated, to be the perfect Mother at all times. And some mothers have
been downright controlling, vindictive or even abusive. Not every woman is fit
to be a mother. And those in their charge have suffered.
On this Mother’s Day, perhaps the
best gift you can give your mother is really a gift to yourself: the gift of
forgiveness. By letting go of bitterness, hurts, bruised and damaged feelings,
resentments and losses, you not only forgive your Mother but also free
yourself. This is a gift much greater than any amount of flowers, candy, or sentimental
cards. It is a gift you can give not only to the living, but also to Mothers
and Grandmothers who have died. Forgiveness is a wonderful gift to give on
Mother’s Day, or any day of the year.
We have not only a physical and
biological mother, but also a spiritual mother. That mother is the Church, or
in the traditional phrase, “Holy Mother the Church.” As anyone who has read a
newspaper or listened to TV or radio in the last several years well knows, the
Church has been far from a perfect mother. Sin is an aspect—an all too
prominent part—of the church on earth. So it has been from the beginning (read
the letters of St. Paul), and so it will be till the Lord comes again. The
clergy sexual abuse, the financial malfeasance, and other scandals should not
be unexpected, even though they are disheartening and discouraging. A wise old
priest and former president of the Paulist Fathers once told me that when you
see the church doing stupid and inhuman things it “is like seeing your mother
drunk.” It is embarrassing.
What are we to do? No more than
we can change the fact that we are our mother’s child can we change the fact of
our spiritual bond to the church. Giving in to feelings of hurt, bitterness,
resentment, anger and desires for revenge, will hurt ourselves as much as
anyone else. Working through to forgiveness frees us to grow as spiritually
mature people. The Church needs reform. The Church needs to listen. We need to
work for the protection of children and all people. We need Bishops who are
shepherds, not careerists. Fortunately, Pope Francis gets it and is appointing
men who are shepherds.
And we also have our part to
play. We also need, like adult children of alcoholics, to not collude in lies,
but to take responsibility for our own actions, and especially to open our
hearts and souls to forgiveness. Being responsible, adult, loving children of
the Church is the best gift we can give our “Holy Mother the Church.” Thank you
all!
God bless,
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