This guest post on children in church is
written by Marti Salas, Director of Religious Education here at St. Austin.
Recently Pope Francis said, "Babies
cry, make noise, go here and there. But it annoys me when a baby cries in
church and there are those who say he needs to go out. The cry of a baby is
God's voice: never drive them away from the church!"
I’m not one to publicly go against Pope
Francis; however, I have worked in the Catholic Church for almost twenty years,
and I can promise you that the topic of babies and young children in church can
incite some pretty heated discussion and call forth strong opinions.
On one hand we have parents of young
children (of whom I am one) who are just doing well to get to Mass on Sunday. Getting
everyone fed, dressed, out the door, parking the car, and finding a pew is not
as easy as it sounds. Many of us are doing well to get there, even if it is
five or ten minutes late. As modern, educated parents we are trying to teach
our children to be self-sufficient, thinking, questioning, participative and
dialoging human beings and members of society. We encourage babies and toddlers
to explore their world, because experts tell us that it’s good for them. Then,
come Sunday morning, they’re expected to sit quietly for a full hour. Church
“experts” admonish us for bringing books or Cheerios or anything not liturgical
or Church-centered. Occasionally, we might wonder if the Church is trying to
make it harder on us on purpose. It’s even possible that we’re so used to our
pre-school child or toddler or infant squirming or making noise that we don’t
really notice that it’s really bothering the people around us. As parents, the
threshold for what bothers us is a pretty high bar.
On the other hand, our parish community
is wonderfully diverse. We have families, college students, single adults and
retired couples. All of us come to Mass looking for God in different ways. An
adult or college student whose week is over-full might be looking for a nice,
peaceful hour of prayer and worship. Maybe it’s the only time of the week they
get to sit still and not answer their phone. They come and find a nice corner
pew in which to pray and listen attentively to the word of God. And, then, a
three year old sits behind them, jumping on the kneeler and banging their sippy
cup on the back of their pew. The mom and dad are just thankful that the three
year old is quiet. Yet, the person in front of them—the one who thought they’d
found a good seat for Mass—can’t hear the readings or the homily and spends the
hour feeling frustrated.
How do we be a community for all? How do
we recognize that children move and make noise and don’t naturally fit into an
adult liturgy? How do we respect that other adults around them come to Mass
with needs for quiet prayer, inspiration, song, community and worship? Can we
be a place where both are welcome—and, more importantly, valued and respected?
Over the past few months, I have been
part of many discussions on this matter. Our parish staff and parish pastoral
council have taken up the issue. We have looked online for resources. We have
started a Children’s Liturgy of the Word at the 9 a.m. Mass. And, still, once a
month or so, the issue comes up. So, we want to start a dialogue here in our
parish community on the topic. The short answer is that, if your baby or
toddler is making a racket, please take them out to the narthex of the church. A
good gauge might be that we have moved from one part of the Mass to another and
they haven’t quieted down, it’s likely disturbing folks around you. Conversely,
if a child near you is making a little noise or causing a
small-but-manageable-and-short-term disruption, please take a deep breath and
try to be patient for just a bit. We really are glad they’re here.
If you have helpful comments, ideas,
resources or suggestions, please email them to me at the parish office (msalas@staustin.org). In
the coming weeks, we will publish some of them here in the Sunday bulletin. We’d
love to hear from all members of our community. All are welcome and celebrated
in our community!
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